What do you think about ultimatums? Are they ever okay? They
happen all the time in relationships.
“If
you don’t……. then I’m going to…”
“When
your father gets home then…”
“We’re
done unless you…”
Ultimatums usually come from a
place of intense emotion and desperation.
They also usually never come to any good.
As I have worked with couples I
have found that ultimatums are usually a sign that there are unresolved control
issues going on in the relationships. I do think there are limited times in
which an ultimatum is okay. When there are domestic violence or addiction
issues then ultimatums can be useful. They can help provide the confidence to
break off a destructive relationship that otherwise would have continued on
into perpetuity.
If you find that you are giving
ultimatums in your relationship then you may want to step back and determine if
it’s a sign of a bigger issue. If so then I suggest seeking out a third party
to help you figure out the real issue at hand.
Follow
the link below to listen to our conversation about ultimatums.
Doc David
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